“You should love yourself and put yourself first. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.”
We hear or read these statements very often.
Nowadays, many people are disappointed in love. Some have difficult relationships with their parents or with their intimate partners, others are afraid of loneliness.
The question when are we going to meet someone who loves us and we love them is asked millions of times, by millions of people.
The answers to all these questions come when we find a way to be ourselves beyond any romantic relationship. We need to find what defines us, what gives us the sense of self.
Sometimes it seems like there is a firm belief that we need a relationship to give us direction and if we do not have it at a certain moment in our lives, we have missed the time for the happy end from romantic movies.
Then we start to question ourselves and suffer because we do not have a significant other, and we do not have an idyllic family with kids yet. These models have been forced on us, and if we do not meet these expectations, we are losers and failures in love.
We are too harsh with ourselves.
We never ask ourselves are we ready, is it okay if romance is not our priority, can we just live happily without following the babies and marriage trend?
Instead of pushing things and suffering, we better concentrate on building the relationship with ourselves. The partners in our lives are not there to fulfill every single expectation and need we have because we can do that perfectly on our own.
Tending to our own feelings, we will realize that we can love ourselves and other people simultaneously as long as everything is balanced. Harmony and balance are the keys to a lasting relationship. And both start from us.
Every one of us has to allow some space and time.
No pushing, no forcing, no blaming. Sometimes we just need time to breathe, heal and reconnect with ourselves.
If we allow to love ourselves we will realize what we deserve; we will create our own definition of love. Loving yourself is not egoistic, on the contrary, the better you know yourself and the more love you have, more will come to you, because love comes to the happy and peaceful souls.
It is not true that we cannot have it all! We can, but everything has its own time and every one of us has their own journey.
How to Love Yourself First?
Forget about the looks
Our society is obsessed with beauty. Everybody is trying to define it and impose it on others. You start associating attractiveness with happiness. So, if you do not look like a model, you cannot be happy or loved. Your personal value should not be defined by the way you look. The people who truly love you do not care about your skin or hairstyle.
Take pride in what you do not how you look because ultimately this is what people around you will remember.
Learn to let go
If you want to redefine love in your live, you must first let go of past experiences and heartache. All of us tend to carry around fragments of past failed relationships and let them weigh us down.
We have all been hurt and let down, but we cannot hand our future to these feelings. We need to learn to forgive, let go and move on.
Stop comparing yourself
You are not here to race, so stop competing and comparing yourself to others. Who cares if the neighbor is making huge cash and having the perfect relationship? Nobody wants a partner who will choose them for their bank account, but for who they are. What you should do is enjoy life and let it develop at its own pace.
Choose your friends carefully
Surround yourself with great people because the love and support of like-minded friends are so valuable. Build yourself an intelligent, sharp, bright and beautiful cast of true friends and be happy with this great achievement.
It is not only about how you look, but how you feel. Sit in the sun, read a book, drink a freshly made juice, do some yoga. Let yourself be that relaxed and glowing person just for a while. You deserve it.
Go on a trip alone
One of the best things you can experience is getting lost on your own in a foreign country. It is so amazingly empowering. Save some money and get yourself a ticket to somewhere you have never been before. Travel to a place you can be without deadlines, phone ringing and office problems. Dive into the unknown, walk around, try the local food, smile for no reason.
Let yourself disconnect from the world you know and realize there is another time, another place and you are okay being on your own.
Know what you deserve
Have you heard that we accept the love that we think we deserve? But every one of us deserves to be someone’s priority. We deserve unconditional love, but first, we need to love ourselves with everything that we are, and we are not. Accept yourself and others will learn to accept you and even love your imperfections.
We hope we have motivated you to look deeper into yourself and start connecting with your inner essence. Start by being curious, then accept the things you find in you. That does not mean you should stop developing and striving to improve things you do not like, but be more gentle and forgiving with yourself. At the end of this process, you will fall in love with you and will be able to give a lot of love and energy to everybody around you.
2 in 3 people have experienced a mental health problem, and only 10% of people feel that they have good levels of mental health. Have you checked your mental health score?